i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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