hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You left your phone here
Wait...
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