i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My penis needs a shock collar
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
