Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize