Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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