we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
