I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
