There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
