we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
