some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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