just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
