Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
