life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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