no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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