i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
bring money and cleavage
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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