# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
