what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
