Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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