i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
