I just threw up on my dentist
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
