This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Bring me that man meat
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
