we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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