I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
is that a dick in a sweater?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
