winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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