dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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