My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
