There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
