there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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