you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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