before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
