Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
