That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
