It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
