Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
