You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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