Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
