Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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