You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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