remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
