Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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