Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
