we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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