i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
