dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
