Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
