Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
