the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
