You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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