Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
