I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
