Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
