Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
