This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
