I faked an abortion last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
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how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You are a genius and a whore.
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