is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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