She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize