Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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