This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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