I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
