I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
