That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
