I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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