Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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