this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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